Another Halloween is upon us, and I thought this might be a good opportunity to reminisce about Halloween from my childhood – essentially the 1970s. Why? Because there’s a lot of kids who don’t really get the Trick-or-Treat experience that I did as a kid, and it seems like it would be a good idea to at least familiarize them with the holiday in a bygone era.

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be one of those “Your Halloween is awful, it was great back in my day” rants. In many ways, it sucked compared to today. But we’re talking about a ‘holiday’ wherein as a child you get free candy from neighbors. That’s not ever going to suck too bad. But things were a little different back then.

Also, geography may play a role in my experiences and those of others. I’m sure the treats (and tricks) of those in the Northeast are going to vary quite a bit from mine in the Midwest. My childhood is from a smallish farmer town in Southern Illinois, so your mileage may vary.

(picture worth it just for the car. Is that a Chevy Vega? Jeeze, I think it is!)

First – The Treats

Compared to today’s offerings, I seem to recall we had a lot less variety back then. But I do clearly recall that one of the very BEST treats you could get was the Caramel Popcorn Ball. If you got one of these wrapped, even better! But I’m quite sure that they were sometimes dropped ‘naked’ into my bag (usually a pillowcase and we didn’t mind a bit).

The worst, (and this is definitely subjective but…) was the Bit O’ Honey. Now maybe there’s some real Bit O’ Honey aficionados out there, but as subjective as this is, it at least covers all of my siblings. By the week after Halloween, this was about all that was left in any of our bags.

Well, there is one thing worse, but our neighbors knew better than to includ this monstrosity. Black licorice is the worst. The ultimate worst that can still be called candy at all. It is known.

Oddly enough, apples were NOT the worst thing ever. Caramel apples were actually pretty good, even if we just ate the caramel.  I seem to recall giving out a lot of apples (not caramel) at Halloween too as a kid. I feel kinda bad because I’m fairly sure that by the end of the night the ones with the nasty bruises and worm holes were all that were left.  I never said WE gave out the good stuff.

In the middle were the standard chocolate Hersheys, the hard-as-a-rock Sweet Tarts (Smartees were just a gleam in some candy executives eyes), and maybe Pixie Straws. If it sounds like I’m complaining about Sweet Tarts, believe me, I’m NOT. Possibly the best candy ever was those huge giant Sweet Tarts that were hard as a rock but you’d eventually suck them down to reasonable size. I think all Sweet Tarts have now been softened to the point that they don’t break your teeth, but alas there’s something missing when there’s no dental threat in them any more. Spree was an alternative, and they were okay, but Sweet Tarts ruled the roost.  Sorry youngsters, but these are not it. I couldn’t even find an image for the Real Thing.

In between there was the Tootsie Rolls of course, or the more maddening Tootsie Pops that you’d have to work your way down to the Tootsie Roll in the center, that was the only real reason you’d put one of them in your mouth anyway. M&Ms were ubiquitous, but I don’t think they made Peanut M&Ms for years yet when I was a kid.

SECOND – The Tricks

Really, unless you were a really evil child, there were only 2 tricks ever played. And even then it had absolutely nothing to do with what you got at the door. Either you threw toilet paper over trees or the really brave would soap the windows.

If you REALLY REALLY didn’t like someone you would use paraffin (because its harder to get off the windows). ‘Egging’ someone’s car really wasn’t a traditional Trick or Treat thing. That was just malicious and could happen anytime. There were tales of the Dog Shit in a Bag trick, but I think that was more an urban myth than reality. It goes something like this. First, put a lot of dog poop in a brown paper bag. Next, set it on a neighbor’s porch and light it on fire. Third, ring the doorbell. Fourth, run like hell.

In theory, said homeowner will come out, see the small fire, and stomp on it to put it out, getting liberally coated in dog poo in the meantime.

Again, that’s a little mean for the kids in our neighborhood though. It sounds fun, but in reality I don’t know that it ever happened.

THIRD – The Costumes

I would say on the order of 50% of all costumes were home-made. And usually with dad’s throwaways. Being a ‘bum’ was very very common. The really well-to-do might have some ‘vampire blood’ and fangs they could put on and in their mouths. If you had an actual store-bought costume it was just a mask. A mask over your face. Fastened with an elastic band not much more than a rubberband. Hard plastic. An over-the-head mask would be the height of extravagance.  More likely if you have full over-the-head mask, you made it yourself with papier-mache, it was hot as hell and weighed a ton, not to mention losing the eyeholes all the time.  Odds were you took it off after the first two houses.

‘It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown’ is pretty accurate as to the number of kids in sheets with eye-holes cut out too. (though only 1 pair typically). Actually that show is pretty accurate in a lot of ways, though I never got a rock. I’m sure Halloween parties actually HAPPENED, but I never went to one as I recall. But that’s okay – there’s more free candy to be had, who wants to waste their time bobbing for apples?

TIME TO GO HOME – On Halloween?!

I don’t remember how late I stayed out on Halloween. But pretty damn late. Going home before EVERY SINGLE HOUSE was tried was practically mandatory in my particular subdivision.  There were a few that didn’t give out candy, but very very few. I don’t recall having any animosity towards them though. There were so many more houses to go to, I think we appreciated that they left their house dark so we wouldn’t waste time with them.  But I’m quite certain we often didn’t get back home till after midnight – and I think I was no more than 11 or 12 even then. Parent’s didn’t mind – since everyone else was out too, it wasn’t that big of a deal. (But we DID have to go back to school the next day.)

Even then though, there were the rumors of Razors in the Apples. Never saw or heard credible evidence of any tampering with any candy, but then we weren’t Internet Connected so it was all just rumor. Didn’t matter to me – I just peeled the caramel off the apples and threw the rest away anyway. 🙂

That’s it. Happy Halloween! Have a fun time. And good luck if you get some…