Sometimes, writing kinda sucks.

I just finished the climax of my story named “You Only Live 18 Times”.
As usual, I think it’s my best. It’s probably not, but I always think that when I write something new. It’s in the “Spyjirra” universe and is a Elder Scrolls/Prequel Adventure/James Bond-ish crossover.

But now I have a dilemma. Big spoiler here, but I felt like discussing it anyway. In the climax, one of the main characters is caught underwater nearby a huge underwater explosion. I’d hoped to have her survive, (she’s an argonian and hence can breath underwater) but I just read some interesting and scientific work on underwater explosions and frankly, given the strength of the explosion and her proximity, she really can’t survive.

I’d considered bringing in magic, perhaps a literal Deus-Ex-Machina, or just ignoring actual science and physics, but I talked it over with a friend and now I’m of the opinion that she has to die. It’s a weird thing, thinking that killing a character I’d only just created a few weeks before makes me feel bad. But it does. The scenario was such that she knew she wouldn’t survive, it was a heroic sacrifice, so it would cheapen it to let her live when everything says she can’t.

I suppose it’s just a thing writers have to get through from time to time. It probably is a better story because of it. But… damn.